Hanoi

Hanoi’s not without charm, the Old Quarter is very, er, old and full of narrow streets and mysterious alleyways. The area around St. Joseph’s cathedral is quieter and has some great shops selling jewellery, paintings and ceramics and brilliant old Communict propoganda posters. And of course, Hoikem Lake is an inner city jewel.

Wandering the streets you see that people live their lives out on the pavement. They sit and chat, cook, eat and work on the roadside. Some folk have a living room that opens right onto the street and so you can have a good look in to see what they have in there -and not a lot is usually the answer. Hanoi does have an Ikea but most of these folk don’t seem to have made the trip yet. I can understand that, I hate going there too. Most front rooms consist of a tiles floor, wooden table, TV, a few wooden chairs and that’s about it. No throws, no scatter cushions no ornaments. You can see why Ikea thought there’d be an opportunity in Hanoi.

Traffic on the streets is omnipresent and consists of motorbikes, cycles, motorbikes, cycles laden down with woven baskets, helium filled balloons, motorbikes, cars, SUV’s, buses, knife sharpeners, shoe shine boys, boys selling books, shoe menders, noodle sellers, ladies carrying large baskets of fruit balanced on the end of a pole over their shoulder (they have a very rythmic way of walking, matching their step to the bouce of the heavy baskets. It’s hypnotice to watch), motorbikes and finally, pedestrians.

Did I mention the motorbikes?

Pedestrians have to walk in the road because the pavements are clogged up with all that vibrant street living – and of course motorbikes! Bikes park on the pavement because the roads are too narrow, that’s just the way it is. And this means there’s a constant flow of bikes on and off the pavement so as a pedestrian you have to have your wits about you. Riders just don’t give you any consideration, you have to move for them.

Here’s my 2 absolute rules for being a pedsetrian in Hanoi:

1 – If you’re walking on a pavement and you stop, even for an instant, a motorbike will want to drive on or off that piece of real estate right there and then.

2 – if you see a narrow alleyway opening onto the sidewalk and look at it for more than a second, a motorbike will appear from it.

Motorbikes are the way for Hanoins to get around but it’s the sheer numbers of them which cause the problems. They’re absolutely everywhere, all the time. And as all riders use the horn all the time, the din is constant. Rush hour has to be seen to be believed – it’s just a flowing river of weaving, dodging, mtorbikes, all set to the music of the horn.

Now here’s a topic that all Western visitors to Hanoi love to discuss – how to cross the road in the face of all this traffic. The accepted way is to wait for a slight lull in the flow and then step out into the oncoming hoards. If you keep a steady pace, everyone will weave round you. Don’t run, stop, go back, hesitate or roll into a ball calling for your mother – any of these will cause confusion and a busy time at Hanoi A+E. Other tricks that you learn from experience are never to make eye contact with a single rider as they will then be drawn, magically straight towards you. Only glance at the oncoming traffic – just to make sure a concrete truck hasn’t snuck in there somewhere. And look both ways before you step out. A lot of the streets are supposed to be one way but never take anyone’s word for that………

To a Westerner this method of crossing is totally alien and goes against everything we’ve ever been taught about road safety. If Tufty or Green Cross Man saw it, they’d cack themselves. But like a lot of stuff in SE Asia, it works. Once you get used to it and realise you’re not going to end up covered in Honda tyre marks it actually becomes quite easy. Just don’t get too blasé though.

Hanoi has a population of 6 million and I think they must all ride about 3 motorbikes each. All these bikes plus a lot of industry, open cooking fires, tall buildings and narrow streets unfortunately mean that air quality in the city is pretty poor. Lots of people wear face masks to filter their breathing. All the time I was there I had red eyes, a sore throat and a cough. As much as I like Hanoi, I was glad to finally leave.